Spring 2022 Semester Almost Over

Spring semester is almost over, and this is my first time taking four classes and I’m overwhelmed. Today I turned in a term paper I’m not fully happy with. I’m so inundated with things to do that at this point I’m just trying to get them done and get them turned in. I knew as a lit major that I’d be doing a lot of reading. I knew what I was getting into. Last semester when I took a creative writing class I got a little complacent because my work load was lighter. This time has been hard. I’ve read every Jane Austen book this semester, loads of graduate level cultural studies essays. The Jewish history and Bible lit classes were better and much more enjoyable because of their structure. I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy all of the classes immensely, but the structure of the courses in the Judaic Studies dept was more pleasing to me. Cultural Studies offered some amazing readings that I’m glad I was exposed to. It opened my mind to different forms of analysis. Jane Austen Studies has reignited my love for Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility and made me discover that Persuasion isn’t as bad as it was on the initial read. I will forever have a love/hate relationship with Mansfield Park. Through my term paper I learned that there is a market for Jane Austen erotica and the market is huge. 

I’ve got three more semesters because I added on another minor, all of them are jam packed with full time courses. The bulk of them are Judaic Studies and I am not mad about that. I recently learned that I have Jewish roots and this is my way of trying to get in touch with that side of my family history. 

The depression is still bad, but it is managed only because I have so much on my plate that I cannot let myself fall into a hole otherwise I’ll fall behind. I’m already borderline behind as it is, hanging on by a thread, I cannot afford to fall off now. After well over a year on Lexapro and it not working as I hoped I’m going to try something new. A friend of mine is on Prozac and recommended that so I’m going to talk to my doctor about it and see what she says. Hopefully it will not interact with my new migraine meds. I’m on Topamax now, only because the price on Ubrelvy was insane. $1800 without insurance for a month. That is absolute madness. The worst part is I did get some samples from my doctor and they worked so well on my migraines compared to my usual old school medicine. I have only taken abortive meds that stop your migraines as you get them. Topamax is a preventative. I won’t know how well it works until I either get no migraines or my migraines are reduced. I can say after my first does that I feel like I have a bit of a hangover this morning. I’m groggier than normal and feel a bit slower. I also couldn’t finish my oatmeal this morning, which is a rarity. I don’t even really want my coffee. It feels like blasphemy; coffee is life. 

Now I’m just using this as a distraction. Kids, research your classes before you take them. Don’t overwhelm yourself with reading and say “oh, I can handle it!” It will be hard. Have time to yourself for things you enjoy where you don’t think about school. Play video games. Stardew Valley has been a blessing for me to escape. Make friends with your classmates. Get organized, if you can. Whatever you can to make that life easier. 

Graduate school is so close I can taste it.