Hello, friends!
I know it's been ages, but I am still alive! I've been battling with depression and anxiety at an all-time extreme. It leaves me not wanting to do much other than take care of my kid and my house, and that's really about it.
Earlier this month I decided to start making some changes to start better managing my mental health, as well as my physical health.
The first change was ditching dairy. I've always been lactose intolerant as far as I knew, but some dairy I could consume without much issue. At least I thought there wasn't an issue. I didn't find out that there was more of an issue than I thought after I stopped consuming dairy completely and then accidentally contaminated myself. I have found some alternatives that I really like, which I am planning to share at a later date as I really get into my dairy-free routine.
It hasn't even been a full month and I can tell a difference in my body and in my skin. I have a ton of facts about how dairy affects the body and skin which I'll probably share later since I adore random facts and figures that are probably useless in my everyday life. Like did you know that dairy reacts with the testosterone in your bod and causes you to produce more sebum?
The more and more I read after the fact about how it affects your skin made me even happier that I decided to kick it. I was just kicking it so my guts would stop trying to kill me from the inside out!
The second change was doing a daily regimen of yoga. I try to do at least an hour of yoga a day, following videos from some of my favorite YouTubers. If you've never seen videos from Yoga With Adriene you don't know what you're missing! Her videos are fantastic for beginners and experienced yogis alike. As the weeks go on I can see progress in my body's flexibility and how my clothes are fitting even if I'm not seeing any differences on the scale.
I can also see a difference in my mindset since I've started practicing more frequently. I've used some of the breathing techniques to help battle off anxiety attacks! If you haven't heard of alternate nostril breathing you should look into it. Game. Changer.
The most recent and most painful change has been ditching the Zoloft. For those of you who have been on an SSRI, you know how bad discontinuation sucks. This go-round hasn't been as bad as it was when I kicked Effexor, thank the heavens and universe. There is a thing called the brain zap that I can't really describe, to be perfectly honest. It's a bit different for everyone. I've had some describe it as little shocks. I immediately think about Dragon Quest VIII, how the screen kinda twitches if you're poisoned. If you get that reference I love you.
Another comparison that comes to mind is two pans smashing together, or pie tins, that high pitched clang that makes you grit your teeth, that tang that you feel down to your bones.
Kinda like this!
Now that the Zoloft has started to clear my system I'm feeling emotion again, like really feeling emotion. SSRI medications make me feel almost numb. Bad things would happen and it wouldn't faze me. Should I have been sad? Angry? Maybe it was a happy occasion, my mind just didn't compute any true emotion except for anxiety. It looooved to let anxiety through even though that diagnosis was why I was given the crap in the first place.
Now I feel everything on a magnified level. Everything from anger to happiness has gone from dulled out to magnified times ten. I've cried more in the past week than I have in years. I saw how perfect my son was when he's sleeping. Tears. RENT was on tv last night and I cried from the opening notes up to when I had to stop watching it so I could put my son to bed. My mashed potatoes were ruined and I almost cried - that I feel was justified because I have to make my own food special from the rest of the family and it being ruined left me with almost no dinner that night. Other than that, lots of tears for no good reason. It almost feels like my body stored it all up for a rainy day.
It's been a bit of a rollercoaster.
I won't say that these things are going to solve all of my problems, but I will say that it is a step in the right direction for me. I do feel better than I have in quite a while, even with all of the things that are going on. Vonnie from a few years ago would be a hot mess right now with everything that is going on in my life (which I will lay out in a later post - I don't want to open that can of worms today). I still need to get back into talk therapy to better work through my agoraphobia. I need to incorporate cardio into my routine to get back to a healthy weight without slipping back into my old eating disorder habits. I'm a complete work in progress, and I am pleased to say that I am trying.
Thanks for reading! Don't forget to share and subscribe!
I know it's been ages, but I am still alive! I've been battling with depression and anxiety at an all-time extreme. It leaves me not wanting to do much other than take care of my kid and my house, and that's really about it.
Earlier this month I decided to start making some changes to start better managing my mental health, as well as my physical health.
Diet Changes
It hasn't even been a full month and I can tell a difference in my body and in my skin. I have a ton of facts about how dairy affects the body and skin which I'll probably share later since I adore random facts and figures that are probably useless in my everyday life. Like did you know that dairy reacts with the testosterone in your bod and causes you to produce more sebum?
The more and more I read after the fact about how it affects your skin made me even happier that I decided to kick it. I was just kicking it so my guts would stop trying to kill me from the inside out!
Exercise
I can also see a difference in my mindset since I've started practicing more frequently. I've used some of the breathing techniques to help battle off anxiety attacks! If you haven't heard of alternate nostril breathing you should look into it. Game. Changer.
Mental Health
Another comparison that comes to mind is two pans smashing together, or pie tins, that high pitched clang that makes you grit your teeth, that tang that you feel down to your bones.
Now that the Zoloft has started to clear my system I'm feeling emotion again, like really feeling emotion. SSRI medications make me feel almost numb. Bad things would happen and it wouldn't faze me. Should I have been sad? Angry? Maybe it was a happy occasion, my mind just didn't compute any true emotion except for anxiety. It looooved to let anxiety through even though that diagnosis was why I was given the crap in the first place.
Now I feel everything on a magnified level. Everything from anger to happiness has gone from dulled out to magnified times ten. I've cried more in the past week than I have in years. I saw how perfect my son was when he's sleeping. Tears. RENT was on tv last night and I cried from the opening notes up to when I had to stop watching it so I could put my son to bed. My mashed potatoes were ruined and I almost cried - that I feel was justified because I have to make my own food special from the rest of the family and it being ruined left me with almost no dinner that night. Other than that, lots of tears for no good reason. It almost feels like my body stored it all up for a rainy day.
It's been a bit of a rollercoaster.
I won't say that these things are going to solve all of my problems, but I will say that it is a step in the right direction for me. I do feel better than I have in quite a while, even with all of the things that are going on. Vonnie from a few years ago would be a hot mess right now with everything that is going on in my life (which I will lay out in a later post - I don't want to open that can of worms today). I still need to get back into talk therapy to better work through my agoraphobia. I need to incorporate cardio into my routine to get back to a healthy weight without slipping back into my old eating disorder habits. I'm a complete work in progress, and I am pleased to say that I am trying.
Dairy free friends! What are your favorite dairy-free alternatives? I need ideas!
Thanks for reading! Don't forget to share and subscribe!
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