The Funeral Is Today, And I'm Not There

My sister came over earlier to get ready for B's funeral. My boyfriend couldn't go since he works, and I can't bring myself to do it. I cannot remember him like that, I just can't. It breaks my heart that my sister has to go through it, because she is like me and can't stand the idea of remembering him in a coffin and would rather remember him as the loud and crazy dude he was. She's mainly there for her boyfriend's sake, because B was like his brother. 

I know one of the first shop owners he worked for, who has also passed, is beating B up left and right for doing what he did. Doc would have never stood for it, the drug use. 

At least now he's pain free. That's all I can ask for. 

See you on the other side, brother. 

Dealing With the Death of a Loved One

I'm still a little fuzzy. A friend of mine passed away a few days ago.

B wasn't even 40 years old yet.

After three weeks in the hospital, in ICU on full life support, his family finally decided that they were going to end life support this coming Monday at 11:30 AM.

Just as he did in life, B wasn't going to follow anyone's rules and he went on his own on Friday, at 11:30 AM.

B was a tattoo artist, a brilliant one. So many people in the town I live in have his art somewhere on their body. He wasn't just an artist that traced a piece and tattooed it on you, he did everything freehand. He was a master of color.

B was a friend, a brother. He was that one dude you knew was going to be wild, not give a damn, say whatever he had to say and not give two craps about what you thought about it.

The funeral services are on Tuesday and I really don't know if I can handle going. I've lost too many friends to drug overdoses at young ages. I cannot stand to go to another funeral of someone who went way too young.

I just don't know how to process it. It's all so new and fresh that I haven't really come to terms with his loss, I think. It is just so weird to know that he's not here anymore.

We are all mourning in our own ways. One of my friends is lashing out at everyone, another has closed himself off. My niece wants to make him pan de muertos on la Dia de los Muertos for him. I thought it was incredibly sweet gesture - she's only seven years old.  It really makes you take a step back and consider how everyone handles mourning in their own manners.

Never take those in your life for granted. Appreciate every day you have, love as deeply as you can.

If you have a loved one with an addiction, try to get them help. I've lost count of all of the OD or other drug related deaths that I've had touch me in recent years. I'm tired of losing people before their time.

Rest in peace, brother. Until we meet again.

[Sponsored Review] Clouds Gray Lenses from Klenspop

The amazing people at Klenspop have sent me another lens for review! This time it was Clouds Gray. I was so excited to get these lenses because I have never worn lighter lenses before!

Here's some information about this pair of lenses: 

Brand: M.I. Contact

Diameter: 14.0 mm

Graphic Diameter: 13.4 mm

Base Curve: 8.6

Water Content: 38%

Disposable: 1 year

Country of Origin: South Korea

Certifications: ISO CE KGMP

Price Includes: 1 Pair (2pcs) + Bonus Case

These lenses retail for $13 USD. 

This post isn't as picture heavy, since you've already seen the extras that come in the box from my Bunny Brown review about a month ago, so I'm going to jump right into the lenses themselves. 

Just like my last review, they came packed very neatly in a shipping box to make sure nothing got damaged in shipping. There were a set of yellow tweezers and a lens case with a pink lid and a clear lid clearly marked L and R so you don't get your lenses mixed up when you to go put them in.

This is the bottle. Very simple design. I wish I was more advanced in my Korean studies so I could read the things listed down the side of the bottle!

 

Feeding Time With The Jelly Beans

Today my sister took me to her boyfriend's house so I could help her feed the kittens they found. Unfortunately, I suck butt at feeding kittens, but I did get to spend some time with them. One of them did start to eat, the fat kitten I named Arlene, but she had enough really quick and my sister had to finish XD

UPDATE: For some reason my videos wouldn't work, so you get jelly bean pictures!

The litter is all girls with one boy. The oddball there, the calico/tortie is my sister's cat Kali.

That big orange poofy burrower is Arlene. I fell in love with her from day one. She's so fat! When she's old enough, I want to bring her home!

What makes me even happier is I made it to his house without getting sick! I went with zero meds (except a migraine medication) and made the trip better than I would have done with drugs. Yeah. 

So meet the jelly beans! I'd say they are probably a month old since they have no milk teeth yet. 

I think spending time with them also helped. Kitten therapy!

Garnier Clean+ Blackhead Eliminating Scrub Day One

As a member of the Allure Beauty Enthusiasts, I have been given the chance to try the Garnier Clean+ Blackhead Eliminating Scrub. Tonight was night one

I just used it, so I'm going to start tracking my progress!

The scrub itself is a gel with little exfoliating beads and charcoal in it.

You put some in your wet hands and rub them together and a lovely exfoliating cream appears!

My skin feels so smooth, though a little dry since the product contains salicylic acid. Definitely use your usual lotion after use!

You'll see the extras in my full review, but for now I leave you my night one selfie.

I had to be super careful to not get it into my piercing!

I'm a little worried about my nose ring. Since we clamped it shut, it almost looks infected. It's red, but not warm to the touch. I think it might be normal, I described my issue to my piercer and he said it was normal. Like there was a little pus that came out, more clear/white and runny than yucky and yellow. Almost like if you pop a zit. Gross, I know, I just need to get that out because I'm a damn nervous Nancy and terrified of infection. 

Stay tuned for tomorrow's results!

I Am Officially Pierced!

Last night my sister's boyfriend did my nose for me!

I won't lie, it did hurt a bit, and I kept waking myself up last night as I slept since I would bump it. 

It still stings a bit this morning, but that is all a part of getting pierced. 

I would post the video, but I don't know if it would truly be appropriate, lmao. I took my valium before I did it because my nerves were going nuts so I was acting a little weird!

I adore how it looks! Looks like I'll be avoiding makeup for a while until this heals. I don't want to cause any complications!

I decided to do my left nostril because I thought it would look best, and I only after I did a little research this morning that I learned something pretty cool: apparently as a part of the Ayurveda, it is believed that a hole through the left nostril relieves pain during child birth and menstruation! How cool is that little fun fact? 

I still can't believe that I did it. My mother was shocked, my kids think it's cool, and I'm waiting on my grandmother to rip me a new one because she doesn't like them. I can always use this defense: my cousin the nurse has her nose pierced and she's the head of nursing at our hospital so nah nah nah boo boo!

She's going to see it on Facebook, so I'm waiting on a call any moment now. 

Have a great day, everyone!

[Sponsored Review] Skin Factory 7 Seconds Touch Fit Lip Tattoo

I've recently become an advanced affiliate at Wistrend, and was given the opportunity to try a product from their store. I tried the Skin Factory 7 Seconds Touch Fit Lip Tattoo in Sexy Pink. This pack also comes with a Speed White cream, which I have not tried yet. My skin is still healing from the experience I had with a skin care regimen so I am a little afraid to use any other products as of right now. 

My Struggle With An Eating Disorder

After reading a post on another blog I decided to open up about my eating disorder. Talking to them and feeling how good it felt to talk about it with someone other than my sister, I want to share my struggle with you.

When I moved back to Okeechobee in 2005, I was really thin. I was a waitress, I abused amphetamines, and I was really thin. I imagine I was right at 100lbs. 

After I moved back, I had trouble finding a job, so my boyfriend supported me. 

My Experience with Rodan + Fields Redfefine Collection

Thanks to iFabbo, I was given the amazing opportunity to try the Rodan + Fields Redefine collection. 

I received two different products from the line, their regimen for the appearance of lines, pores, and loss of firmness which is a three step system, and their Acute Care for expression lines. 

The Regimen came in the neatest little pack that reminded me of a lunch sack. 

Inside you will find the Daily Cleansing Mask, Pore Minimizing Toner, Triple Defense Treatment Broad Spectrum SPF 30 Sunscreen and Overnight Restorative Cream. 

Some Morning Inspiration

It's an older episode, but I finally got to see the episode of Hey Qween! where Jonny McGovern interviewed Michelle Visage. This woman is self made, she's one of my biggest inspirations to keep going as hard as I can to make something of myself. 

I want to share not only the interview but also the bonus. 

Sit and take a few minutes to listen and gain some knowledge from the wonderful and wise Michelle Visage. 

BONUS #1

BONUS #2

For more Hey Qween, don't forget to subscribe to thestream.tv! 

Today's Hair Attempt

I wanted to do something a little different now that I darkened my hair up.

Here's the results from last night's color:

It's slightly darker than usual, but my friend (who picked up my color) couldn't find my usual Garnier color and picked me up a dark John Frieda color, instead.

While watching cartoons and having my coffee this morning, I wanted to try something different, so I tried this 40's inspired hair that I watched a youtube tutorial on earlier. It didn't work out. 

Then I wanted to do a twist braid and side bun. 

These are my results: 

I loved the concept and result, but the bun was so heavy that it wouldn't hold even with something like ten pins in it. 

I gave up and went back to my high pony. 

Maybe I'll try again later!

[Book Review] Not A Word About Love

One of my favorite things to do is read. I have a notebook where I keep a list of books I've read.

This latest book added to my list, Not A Word About Love by Hana Goldberg, was a pleasure to read and add to my list. 

From her website: Hana Goldberg is a Lifetime Achievement Award winner from Israel's Association of Authors and Composers (ACUM), a bestselling and critically acclaimed Israeli novelist and poet and an A-list lyricist with hundreds of popular songs and many #1 hits. Hana has written many bestselling books and she is a frequent guest on Israeli television shows and has her own column about literature in Israel's most popular web portal - ynet.co.il. Since her first book at the age of seventeen, and through her bestsellers and hundreds of songs, Hana has been a strong and original voice in Israeli culture.

This book is a total page turner. I have not stopped reading since I got it. 

Here is the description from Amazon.com: After eleven years of marriage, Maya is swept away on a sensual, daring and hilarious journey following a random meeting with a stranger. Through alleys fragrant with the pungent smell of fried rice, amid child beggars and vendors of psychedelic fabrics, she makes surprising discoveries about the stranger, and about herself. How far will she be willing to go?

Disclosure: I received this book for free for review purposes. All opinions are my own. 

I'm Getting Inked And Pierced Saturday!

After going thirty years without getting any tattoos, I'm finally getting one!

I'm so scared but so ready all at the same time. 

On Saturday, my boyfriend is going to go get started on his sleeve tattoos, so I'm going to see if the tattoo artist/piercer will be willing to do a few quick things for me, too!

This is what I want to get done: 

I'm getting it for my cat, Layla, who passed away a few years ago at the age of thirteen. I had her since she was a six week old kitten. She was my best friend from birth until the day she died. 

This was taken a few months before she died. Her whiskers were once black, but turned white as she aged. 

Check behind the cut for more pictures of my beautiful Layla, thoughts on getting inked, and photos of my very first piercing experience!

Ten Tips For New Circle Lens Wearers

Among beauty bloggers, at least the circle that I to run in, circle lenses seem to be a crucial point to a makeup look. I will not disagree in the slightest - they add something to a look that I can't describe. Pizazz? Za-za-zu? 

Recently I was sent my very first pair from Klenspop and I've somewhat had to learn as I go. Thankfully my boyfriend is a huge cosplay lens wearer and helped walk me through my first experience. 

One of my favorite pictures of us.

These are his zombie lenses. They are the Crazy Color Lens brand that I sold at my shop before I was forced to stop working. 

Since he loves his lenses, I want to get him some UV activated lenses next!

Back to the point. 

Here are some tips for beginners. 

1. When you get your lenses, if they come in a bottle with an aluminium cap protector, be very careful. 

See that ring under the plastic cap? If you follow it around you will see some arrows where you are supposed to pull to remove the ring. It will come apart and start to unwind. If that rim breaks, do not try to pull it off with your fingers. That ring is very sharp and will slice your fingers. Get a pair of scissors and gently pry it off of the plastic stopper that is underneath. 

To read the rest of my first time user tips, look under the cut. 

Feelings Rant

How is one supposed to feel when you've been lead on and then dropped by someone you trust?

Everyone has had that happen, I'm sure.

I feel rather like this:

But on the same token I just want to let loose with anger and do something like this: 

I have a tendency to hold grudges. It's very childish of me, I know, I just cannot help it. When I feel wronged by someone and they act like it is all fine and dandy, how else should I feel? 

Like you say you're going to do me a favor and then all of a sudden you can't do it because of some other sort of circumstances? 

This can only happen so many times before I can't take it anymore. I already deal enough with shit as it is with illness, I don't have time for someone to lead me on about something and then back out at the last second for whatever God awful reason they have. 

In the end, it leaves me feeling like this: 

In other news, I'm not sure if I've blogged about my sister being ill, but she's starting to get better! She sprained her ankle at a concert and has been pretty much home bound ever since. That's not a bad thing, but we live on opposite sides of the city and I've missed my time with my sister and my babies (her children). 

I was also given the chance to try some amazing skin products that are supposed to target fine lines like the lovely little buggers that have popped up around my eyes. Aging is such a bitch. That will be here in a few weeks, and a review will be posted as soon as I start seeing some results. Hopefully this product works as well as it claims!

Thank you for listening to my rant, and if you have any advice on what to do when you feel slighted please let me know. I really want to somehow rectify this situation without blowing up on the person and acting like a huge baby. 

Check my new signature, yo,

Yeahyah!

Baking With My Kiddos

My girlchild had a project to do for school, so we decided to go for a confectionary treat!

She had to make an edible cell of some sort, a plant or animal. She chose plant. 

This is how it came out. Not the prettiest, but we had a great time bonding and making this. 

Without the diagram, can you pick out what each candy is supposed to represent, science people? 

No word on a grade yet, but I'll post as soon as I find out!

Since girlchild and I were cooking, boychild wanted in on the action. We made a cosmic cake!

You can see my loved to hell pan. 

We were adding the blue food coloring to the white mix and he noticed how cool it looked when it swirled, so after we dumped it into the pan I told him to add more food coloring and made the swirlies with a whisk. I wish I would have gotten a picture when it was finished. It was cool as all get out!

For a good evening, we all had blue mouths. 

And then he sugar crashed on the floor. Thank god he's still tiny and easy to move!

There is nothing more in this world that I love than spending time in the kitchen with my kiddos. I had a problem standing up and making it through the whole thing, but we did it and had excellent yummy results. 

Versatile Blogger Award

I was nominated by the extremely sweet Claudia from http://toomanybiases.blogspot.pt/ for this award. I was speechless, since I'm still a smaller blog! Thank you, darling!

Here's how this works: I now nominate 15 bloggers I feel that deserve the award, and then offer up 7 facts about myself. 

Let's get down to business. 

I nominate: 

Lizzy from lizzyxfresh.blogspot.com

Tomtins from tomntins.blogspot.kr

Rowena from rolalaloves.com

Emi and Lea from emixlea.blogspot.com

Tokki Baby from hellotokki.blogspot.com

Fraulein Schnee from berriesinthesnow.com

Shini Lola from shinilola.com

Reni Cesillia from rinicesillia.com

Cominica from cominica.net

Suvarna Gold from suvarnathegolden.blogspot.com

Saija from frillycakes.blogspot.com

Mateja from matejasbeautyblog.blogspot.com

Federica from vanilla-syndrome.blogspot.com

I started to run out of favorite blogs I follow, so I hope thirteen is ok!

Now for the seven facts. 

1. Before I got sick for this weird balance issue, I was going to school to be a nurse. My cousin, who is the head of nursing at my local hospital, inspired me to follow my dream of nursing. While I still haven't finished, I'm still sharp on my skills and can pretty easily help diagnose illnesses and throw facts about different medications at you like I'm reciting the alphabet. 

My knowledge of drugs is a bit scary.

2. My boyfriend and I have a dog kennel that does breeding and rescue. We currently have five pitbulls, two of which are rescues. All puppies we produce are tenth generation super pedigree, meaning we can sell them for an upwards of $1500 USD. Don't take this as we are a puppy mill, please. We only breed once a year, and after five litters (over the course of five years) we are done breeding that particular female. It is bad for the health of the dog, and we are not the type to be irresponsible with our dogs. We always do home checks before a puppy is ever sold and make our buyers sign contracts agreeing that if we ever hear or witness that our puppies are being mistreated that we can return to the home and take the dog back. They must also agree to bring the puppy back to us before they consider taking it to a shelter. We are in the business of furever homes, not temporary. A dog is for life, not a trend or for now.

Puppy from the last litter - the ONLY puppy. Bella had just one.

3. I love watching people having blood drawn, or the correct and perfect insertion of an IV catheter, but I hate needles so much I have to be sedated at the dentist so he can give me the shots to work on or clean my teeth. 

How I feel when the phlebotomist enters the room

4. My kid is really gullible and I'm really good at lying. I told her the reason that the world didn't end in December 2012 was because The Doctor saved us. 

She believed me for a good month until I asked if she wanted to meet The Doctor. 

Then I showed her Doctor Who and she's been a little Whovian ever since. 

Me on the inside as girl child believed the Doctor saved us.

5. I have a sick fascination with drag queens, so much that to the point that I almost wish I was a man so I could be a drag queen. I'd be like Willam, very crass and wouldn't give a damn about what people thought. My drag name would be Momo, because I'd be one hell of a peach. 

My drag inspiration

6. I never go to the salon. I do my own nails, color and eyebrows, and my boyfriend cuts my hair. He's not trained, he just knows where to snip because his hair is as long as mine. We're mermaid hair twins. 

How I feel when I take my hair down for the day.

7. I speak bits and pieces of about five languages. Asian languages are my specialty, particularly Japanese and Mandarin Chinese, but I can understand Spanish and some French. I'm currently learning Korean. Thanks to Azis Ansari and Donald Glover, I also know how to say "jizz everywhere" and "niglet" in sign language. And mom said I wouldn't learn anything from television.

If you aren't already following them, go check out the blogs I've listed. They are all amazing!

Thank you, Claudia, for passing this happy my way <3

I Have The Best Boyfriend

I got an email from Tatcha this morning, a newsletter, announcing a new product that I knew I had to have. I love lipstick, especially red.

Image from Tatcha

This is a limited edition from Tatcha called Kyoto Red. It's infused with silk, hydrating botanicals, and high pigment, inspired by the geishas of Kyoto.

You can bet your butt I instantly added myself to the waiting list for when it comes out, not giving a damn about the price.

I showed my boyfriend, and he said he will get it for me when it comes out!! Then came the happy booty dance.

If you haven't already signed up for their newsletter, do it now. Hopefully you will also get this email with a chance to add yourself to the list to have access to this product before it becomes available to the public.

It's so beautiful, I cannot wait to get my hands on it!

[Music Review] Madonna's Rebel Heart

I have loved Madonna since I was a child. Her last two albums have been a little underwhelming to me. I will be honest and say that I haven't purchased any albums since Confessions on a Dance Floor was released. I adored that album. Her last two, Hard Candy and MDNA, just didn't do it for me.

Then came Rebel Heart.

This is Madonna's thirteenth studio album with Interscope Records, and she's collaborated with so many other great artists on this new record.

From track one on, this album had me hook, line, and sinker. It's classic Madonna, evolving with the times. 

There is something for everyone on here, I think. It has your dance tunes, something I've always lived for from Madonna. It's also got some things that really drop that bass, a reggae inspired tune, slower ballad like tunes. 

If you really get into the lyrics, she delivers that meaning something fierce. A few tracks left me with goosebumps up and down my arms, like HeartBreakCity. She's always had a way with making words just cut through you and hit you straight in the soul.

The first track, Living For Love, is as modern Madonna as it's going to get. It's got great lyrics and a great beat. 

Just like Cher, this woman does not age!

I love the concept of this video. I hope you dig it as much as I do.

I'm going to put the rest of this behind a cut, because I can see myself being very wordy about this album!

Freebies 03/09/2015

Yesterday I got some pretty cool goodies in the mail. I got my bottle of Biotrue that I've been waiting on and excited to try, and samples of Burberry Brit Rhythm. 

I wanted to try the BioTrue Challenge now that I'm a circle lens user. You can also take the Biotrue Challenge if you live in the US to see the real difference. I cleaned my lenses with it last night and put them in, and I could really tell a difference between that and my PureMoist. I had some technical difficulties with my left lens, but the right felt amazing. The PureMoist stings my eyes a touch, this doesn't!

The second was samples of Burberry Brit Rhythm. 

In the cool envelope were two samples, one for her (floral) and one for him (intense). I was so surprised when I opened my package of the floral. From the flat packaging, I almost expected a little flat sprayer like I've gotten in the past, but instead it was the. coolest. thing. EVER.

Below is a video of my thoughts on just how damn cool this thing is. 

If you can't watch the video, the sample is a flat plastic card. It's bendy and infused with the smell of perfume. I almost want to keep it in my panty drawer!

I have it with my other perfume collection next to my bed and it makes my whole bed area smell so pleasant. I slept so good last night ^_^

I cannot remember the link where I got the perfume samples from, though I'm sure if you google "Burberry Brit Rhythm Sample" you'll be able to find it in a pinch. I ordered it around four weeks ago so getting it in the mail was a nice surprise. 

That was my happy for yesterday! If you take the Biotrue Challenge, let me know if you can tell the difference between this solution and your current solution. 

Mario Badescu Skin Care Samples

About a week or two ago I requested some samples from Mario Badescu Skin Care. You get to fill out a really nifty questionnaire so they can cater your samples to your skin type and your skin's needs.

I wasn't home when they came in, but mom was, so she called me to let me know I got something. We both get excited when I get things like this in the mail, except for the package of Depends. Not sure how I got put on the list for that, but my girl child and mother got a laugh.

Hearing her try to pronounce the product name was hilarious! So I had no idea what I had gotten until I got home.

First, let me tell you a little bit about Mario Badescu Skin Care. The company was founded in 1967 as a salon. Mr. Badescu brought his old world knowledge to us here in the United States, New York to be exact. These products use natural ingredients and advanced technology to gently cleanse your face and rejuvenate your skin. Cher is one of their clients, so you know this stuff has to be the ish. She is forever beautiful!

Along with the samples, my package included a product guide, which has everything under the sun catered for your skin type. It also came with a personalized product application guide.

These are the products that I received. 

I am going to show you these in the order that they are listed in my guide for use.

First is cleansing. 

This is what this cleanser says it does. 

The price for the full size of this product is $14 for an 8oz or $24 for a 16 oz. 

Next is the Special Cucumber Lotion. 

Just like a lot of the Asian products I've used, this lotion is actually a toner. 

It sounds like it's got some amazing properties so I can't wait to try it. 

I think the price on this is incredibly reasonable. The price ranges from $15 for an 8oz all the way to $45 for a 32oz bottle. Compared to some of the products I've used in the past, that is a steal. 

That step is followed by Hyaluronic Eye Cream. 

Now let me tell you, the product description excites me beyond all reason. I think my eyes are a big trouble area because I'm finding *gasp* fine lines. I know it's a part of aging, but I refuse to accept it!

The price on this is a little high, at 1/2oz for $18, but if it works then it is worth every penny. 

After those first steps comes the Collagen Moisturizer. I love that it has an SPF, especially since I'm in Florida. Sun protection is so important anywhere, but we take it very seriously here. 

This cream is very thick and luxurious. While thick, it's extremely lightweight. The collagen formula protects skin from moisture loss and keeps skin nice and plump. 

The price of this product is $24 for 2oz. 

The evening routine is the same as above, but with some added steps. 

They say to apply this drying mask two to three times a week. 

This is perfect for my oily acne prone skin. I've used sulfur soaps in the past and it's done wonders for my acne and skin tone. Sulfur doesn't play!

This product is $18 for 2oz. 

They also recommend this Healing and Soothing mask two or three times a week. 

This mask balances out irritated skin, particularly sensitive skin with acne. It contains Balsam Peru, a natural anti-inflammatory agent. Perfect for my Mt. Fuji zits that like to pop up periodically1

This is $20 for 2oz. 

They also sent this small jar of Drying Cream. It's designed to dry up pimples that haven't come up yet. It's aloe-rich and also tackles erupted acne as well. 

This is $17 for 1oz. 

There is another step, they just did not have a sample available. The Buffering Lotion is used over large erupted areas of skin, or apply small bits to cystic breakouts. 

Do you want your own personalized routine from Mario Badescu? All you have to do is fill out a questionnaire so they can create a routine for your skin type. It's that easy, and it's free. 

I have yet to use my products yet, though I have heard of their great reputation. I almost feel like I'm cheating on DHC!

When I start using my personalized routine, I'll share with all of you lovelies my results.

If you order your own, let me know what they recommend for your skin!

xx Vonnie